I've been doing good, but today I feel like I'm going to puke.
I had a hard week last week. One of my best friends died. That is why I have been MIA on the Inkernets. Just like your body pulls blood into your core when you are cold to keep your vital organs warm, I have pulled close to my close friends to keep warm.
My mind is a jumble. I am sad he is gone. Happy to see how much he affected people and how highly people thought of him. Worried about those he left behind.
This is just the kind of thing that I would normally go to Aaron with. He and I were alike enough that when we talked, even when we didn't say it right, we trusted that the other knew what we meant. A rare gift in a friend or family member.
An example (that meant a lot to me):
I have always been able to get along with lots of different people very well and my ultimate dream is to get whatever that is that I think is special/different/whatever out to the world in a book. I rarely tell people this because it sounds so damn silly, even to those who know me. I remember everything about when I told Aaron because, the look on his face, and the way he said, "You gotta DO that!"
I knew he really believed in me and saw what I see in myself more than my family, more than girls that had loved me, more than anyone I had ever told that too. I decided right there that I would dedicate the book to him.
And Im not going to tell you "that is even more true now that he is gone" or some shit. My book will be dedicated to Aaron Guilbert because of the person he was, pure and simple. He does not need death to deserve memorium.
I love you and miss you Aaron, and I will probably talk about you again here.
(Aaron took the shot above)
Monday, February 05, 2007
Lost and Overwhelmed